Another milestone reached

So here I am sat at home with my laptop typing away around the time I was sat in the waiting room 7 years ago to see the ENT consultant, hoping that I wasn’t not going to be given the news I was expecting. Unfortunately I did get the news I expected and I recall that the emotion or feeling I had was predominately one of relief and the waiting and not knowing was over. I had in my heart known for a couple of weeks since my ultrasound appointment that this was the mostly likely outcome. People have said wasn’t the knowing you had cancer the worst part, whilst it was devastating it was not a bad as the period of not knowing. Once I new, I felt I could move on to treatments being successful and getting well again, there was a treatment plan outlined to me and as far as I was concerned it would be successful and as I wrote in my Facebook entry about the day, I could still go on holiday before my treatment started, which was very important to me.

Over the last 7 years a lot has happened and much of it has been unexpected to me. More of it has been good than bad though. The treatments whilst pretty hellish at times were effective and survivable which is why I am writing this and your are reading it, a bonus for me whilst maybe not so much for you. Seven years ago I remember going back to the office after my appointment and tell my team that I had cancer and would shortly be going off for treatment, later having to contact family and friends to let them know the result of the appointment, which some new about as I had spoken to them prior to the appointment. I can’t really remember what I did beyond letting people know the news after work, I do know I left work slightly early. I do remember that I had walked to the hospital appointment and had then walked back home before cycling into work and home again. Beyond that the afternoon and evening is a bit of a blur in my memory now.

What is happening for me today, well I have decided to put the house on the market and am in the process of doing so, earlier today sending an email to the estate agent saying I want them to market my house. I am limping slightly as the result of a fairly badly sprained ankle, which is now healing well and thinking I will go on a gentle walk as part of the rehabilitation. Maybe this evening I might cook a nice meal, possibly a home made pizza. Partly because I like pizza but also because it represents a meal that shows I have recovered. Dry food, crispy food was really painful and impossible to eat for some months after my treatments and eating pizza for the first time after the radiotherapy felt a big step towards returning to being me. Plus I enjoy the process of making the dough and then constructing the pizza and of course eating it. Other notable things going on, well I am feeding my neighbours feline boss whilst she is away. A friend who recently moved has kindly passed on a lot of boxes to me so I can start packing. Today would have been the birthday of my paternal grandfather and is the birthday of a friend which in many ways are much more important anniversaries than the one that springs into mind first for me. For me they are all intertwined, finding out about the cancer and getting it successfully treated means I am still here to remember my grandfather on his birthday and send birthday greeting to my friend and are two of the many things I get to do every year thanks to the wonderful treatment I got from the NHS 7 years ago.

Well time to end and make a flask of coffee to take out with me as I go for walk to celebrate still being here and well enough to go for walks. The weather is brightening up after a cloudy start to the day, which I think it did 7 years ago, I remember going into the hospital appointment with it being dull and grey and coming out to a sunny day with fluffy clouds in the sky, which made the day a bit easier. I am feeling very fortunate today, thankful for all the care and support I received from professionals, family, friends and colleagues in the weeks, months and years since cancer rudely barged into my life. It is thanks to all of them, that I am in the good place I am today, mostly enjoying life, still here writing this blog and cluttering up your day with it, if you are kind enough to read it.